Pick of The Month
Every month I read books and magazines from my Book List, and watch movies from my Movie List. Undeniably, there are always touching and relatable words and scenes from these entertaining products that can spark my thoughts and introspections that I want to write down here and share with you... 

Have I mentioned that I am a fashion enthusiast? My natural fashion sense is heavily influenced by my parents, and it has garnered countless compliments from both my friends and strangers. I never intentionally coordinate my outfits for specific occasions or weather; I simply go with the flow, and fortunately, it never seems inappropriate.

I appreciate this book because it highlights a significant transformation from being a girl to becoming a woman: the increased awareness of what clothes to wear for different occasions, perhaps even with the right accessories. The author shares 100 essential items that every girl should have in her closet, based on her fashion expertise. Additionally, she guides women on how to effectively utilize these items for various events, ensuring suitable combinations. Of course, everyone has different tastes and aesthetic standards, so please consider these pieces of advice according to your preferences.

Ladies, let us never underestimate the power of fashion, which can bring us glamour, confidence, attractiveness, and self-love. Hence, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, be conscious of your style, and learn how to accentuate it!

The heroine Nora and her childhood sweetheart Hae Sung missed each other because of the distance between their countries, and they reencountered in NYC after both of them had settled down. One of the most memorable scenes is when Nora is surrounded by her husband and Hae Sung at a bar. It could be an extremely awkward situation because Nora has to translate between English and Korean. Meanwhile, the tension among the three of them can be easily felt through their micro-expressions, pauses, eye contact, and voices. The husband feels left out, while the other two reminisce about their sweet past. Sadly, the past is the past. They have grown up, have different life trajectories, are with other people, live in different countries, and none of these facts can be overlooked or dismissed. No sexually intimate scenes, no tense confrontations. This is the essence and uniqueness of this film that makes viewers reflect on and ponder questions about fate, love, and the choices we make.

After watching it, I kept asking myself what I would do if I were Nora. Abandoning everything that I have accomplished in NYC is impossible, but deceiving myself and my husband will only deepen the cracks in our relationship. Leaving the person I do not love, telling the person I love, and letting whatever happens, happen.

Interestingly, I watched many highly-rated movies in the beginning of March, which makes it impossible for me not to share the most memorable and thought-provoking ones here. Let's start with this heartbreaking Japanese romance.

The storyline is simple: a young girl and boy meet at a bus station and end up living together because they share so many common interests: singers, songs, animations, manga, galleries, and those small but exhilarating moments in life like discovering a new bakery, taking care of a stray cat, trying new restaurants, and enjoying stunning city views. The saddest part is that they are incredibly happy and content while they are still in college, but after graduation, they have to face more realistic challenges such as job hunting, social responsibilities, financial pressure, workplace discrimination, and family expectations. Naturally, they don't have much time to spend together playing video games, going to art exhibitions, reading their favorite manga, or even having a cup of coffee. They have drifted apart due to the cruelty of reality, which drains all the excitement, happiness, compatibility, support, and love from their lives.

This story is brutally authentic and true to life because it represents the ending of countless young couples: "There was no third party involved in the relationship; we simply let reality defeat us."

​

2. One True Thing

​

I love this movie so much. It has a simple story about the dynamics of relationships within a family, between a daughter and her parents, and between a couple. It's complicated, disturbing, mysterious, and heartbreaking.

​

​「It's so much easier to be happy, my love.  It's so much easier to choose to love the things that you have, and you have so much, instead of yearning for what you're missing, or what it is you're imagining you're missing. It's so much more peaceful.」This is one of the most memorable lines spoken by the mother, who has cancer, to her daughter. The daughter is an accomplished journalist who has always looked up to her father, a college professor. However, she has always seen her mother as subservient and unaccomplished. When the mother gets cancer, the daughter is forced to return home and take care of her. During this time, she begins to learn more about her mother, a generous and wonderful woman with a big heart, while realizing that her father is selfish, self-absorbed, and hypocritical.

The daughter is devastated when she discovers that her father is having an affair with his teaching assistant while her mother is bedridden. Surprisingly, her mother comforts her by saying, "There is nothing you know about your father that I don't know." It's a cruel truth that most of the time, women have to compromise to make a marriage or family last. What touches me the most is that as sons and daughters, we may have different understandings and evaluations of our parents, which could be positive or negative. But please, let's not be harsh on them. Let's cherish every moment and opportunity we have to still be able to touch them and talk to them.

​

3. Libre et assoupi

This is a French movie that portrays a guy who loves doing nothing. I can relate to him because his state perfectly reflects mine after graduation. I had several job interviews and received numerous offers, but I turned them down with various excuses because none of them met my definition of an "ideal job." Now, I stay at home and occasionally daydream about becoming rich overnight. I see myself as an independent and free person who can't stand rules, orders, or restraints at all. My ideal life involves owning my own business, only working 3-4 hours a day, and being able to enjoy coffee, travel the world, spend time with my family, and go shopping with my friends.

The horrible rat race and peer pressure make me anxious and worried about my future, but I definitely don't want to feel this way. I was born in this competitive Asian society, which means I'm not allowed to live the way I dream of living. Moreover, I'm not the type of person who can tolerate imperfections. I can't work a job that doesn't interest me just for the sake of money. So, even though I have to deal with pressure from my parents and myself, I still choose to search for ideal positions that meet my basic standards: being well-paid, flexible, and allowing me to do things I'm good at.

To be honest, I don't know how long this journey will take, but I'm prepared to face the cruel reality and experience rejections over and over again. I'll stand up and keep moving forward.

This film is based on one of Colleen Hoover's bestselling romantic novels, It Ends With Us. I am a huge fan of hers, especially her sensational It Ends With Us and It Starts With Us. 

I can still remember the first time I started reading It Ends With Us; it was one sunny afternoon at my USC apartment. Lily and Ryle's cliché but striking encounter on the rooftop strongly drew my attention. I was so eager to know the subsequent plots that I stayed up until 3 a.m. that night to finish the book.

This is a rich novel with multilayered implications that every girl can relate to. It incorporates women’s empowerment, independence, friendship, love, family, marriage, domestic violence, and self-growth. Lily, the heroine, has gone through a few key phases in her life. I truly admire Lily's courage to start her new life as a florist, a successful and bright female entrepreneur. When she falls in love with Ryle, she can be tender, dependent, loving, forgiving, and understanding. When she becomes a mom, she is so assertive that she needs to use all her power to protect herself and her daughter from physical harm or potential harm. 

Instead of saying that I am disappointed in Ryle, I would say I admire and love how Lily transmits girl power to me and to every female reader. We may play different roles throughout our lives: daughter, girlfriend, white-collar worker, dreamer, friend, entrepreneur, mom, etc. This means we need to equip ourselves with changing attitudes, perspectives, and courage to cope with different roles and scenarios. Regardless of which role we are playing now, we should not forget self-love and self-esteem. 

I felt super thrilled after seeing the news that the film adapted from the novel would come out this September. I understand that as a commercial film, with many limitations and considerations, it is impossible to include every detail and nuance from the book, so I would say I am pretty satisfied with the film and with Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni's interpretations. I felt grateful that, as a huge book fan, I could see my favorite characters come to life, bringing vibrancy and richness to the audience. 

If you have not read the novel yet, do not watch the film first!

The first time I watched this series, I was a freshman. It was highly recommended by one of my roommates, who persuaded me to watch it with her after class every day. I have to admit that almost ten years ago, I was a naïve girl who knew little about romantic relationships, sex, and human nature. As a result, the elusive lines and interpretations from Carrie diminished my interest and curiosity about the show. Last month, I renewed my Netflix membership to watch it again, as I feel more mature now and have developed different perspectives on relationships through my experiences. I firmly believe I can relate to the show this time around.

​

This time, unlike with other shows, I’m not fast-forwarding or zoning out; I’m fully engaged with every scene and every line. I’m currently in Season Two, and it’s rare for me to lose track of time as I have with this show. So far, the series addresses topics such as the caste system, highlighting the classic epiphany that, even though we live in a classless society now, we are still surrounded by hierarchies. In relationships, some people say "I love you" first, while others do not respond. In relationships, some people say "I love you" first, while others do not respond, marking a distinct power shift inexplicably. Samantha points out that it’s strange how if a woman says "I hate you," it can lead to intense sex, but if she says "I love you," it may end in tragedy. One episode centers on the discussion of how non-committed a guy can be. I really admire Carrie; she is funny, smart, classy, sophisticated, and accomplished. However, I do not advocate her values or her lovesickness when it comes to relationships. She consistently sacrifices her own well-being and true feelings while staying with Mr. Big, who is an arrogant, non-committed, self-involved, and successful businessman. There is nothing wrong with women expressing how much we love our partners. We can say, "I am thinking about you all the time, but it never occurs to you to factor me into your life decisions." However, by expressing this, we often place ourselves in an inferior position in a relationship where we plead for a man's attention and care. 

​

Even though I have not experienced the way Carrie loves Big, I remind myself to not "lose yourself" in a relationship, no matter how much you love someone. Every time I see how heartbreaking Carrie's situation is when Big says things like, "You move to Paris for yourself; don't move for me. I don't want you to uproot your whole life and expect anything," I am reminded of this. I know that not every man has commitment issues, but once you detect even a hint of them, please walk away decisively. Do not hold onto the hope that he will change his old habits just for you.

​

From a secular perspective, she might be labeled a "slut" or "whore" for sleeping with powerful and wealthy men without any intention of settling down. However, from a neutral standpoint, she is an authentic independent woman who embraces her sexuality as a decent human being. She advocates for true gender equality: women are entitled to the same rights and privileges as men. If a rich man's social status is deemed sufficient to excuse his dissolute behavior, then a woman should not be judged for doing the same. She advocates that "none of the women can afford to fall into this 'one man at a time' pattern." Although it may sound unethical, this concept equalizes and normalizes the choices available to both men and women in a relationship. 

​

Another episode strikes my heart as Carrie asks, "Do you have to play games to make a relationship work?" Although I still had no clue at the last minute of this show, I can't help but wonder about the answer to this question. Personally, I believe the most exciting and exhilarating moments in a relationship occur when two people engage in playful games, such as push-and-pull tactics, at the very beginning. I enjoy teasing guys by speaking sassy at unexpected moments, and I'm also savvy enough to know when to pull the stop sign and show a bit of vulnerability by being nice, sweet, and cute. Luckily, it turns out that guys go crazy for this huge contrast in a girl.

However, I also have a weakness in this game: my self-esteem. I am fully aware that we live in an era where women can take the initiative by making the first move, which does not diminish their charisma at all; rather, it showcases women's confidence, self-assurance, and generosity. Unfortunately, I struggle to do this in real life. When a guy stops talking to me, no matter how much I want to reach out to him, I end up swallowing my mental torture by suppressing that strong desire. All my girlfriends keep telling me that saying hello and asking how he is doing doesn’t hurt my dignity at all. They encourage me to make the move instead of woolgathering.  I don't know when I will conquer this psychological dilemma, but I realize that playing games in a relationship is like the ingredients in making delicious cuisine: you can still enjoy it, but it won't make it onto your "Last Meal List."

This novel is another sensational creation by Colleen Hoover. After reading her three books, I am deeply drawn to her writing, especially regarding the emotional nuances and subtleties of her characters.

I won’t waste much time spoiling the plot or complicating character dynamics. Instead, I want to emphasize what I have gleaned from Kenna, the protagonist. She is a loving, compassionate, gorgeous, smart, perseverant, and funny mother. Despite facing various challenges in her life—such as the sudden loss of her beloved boyfriend, a five-year prison sentence, a bleak future after her release, the inability to see her own daughter, and the moral dilemma of falling in love with her deceased boyfriend's best friend—she never considers giving up on pursuing what she wants.

​

Most of the time, people—including myself—say that romantic novels cannot provide readers with insightful or enlightening epiphanies, but only satisfaction for our emotional and adrenaline excitement. While I still hold this perspective, after reading many romantic novels, I am beginning to realize that we can learn something from the different characters: how they fight for their dreams, how their values affect their relationships, how they handle conflicts with their partners, and how they strive to make a relationship work.

I am not someone who easily opens my heart or communicates effectively during conflicts with my boyfriend, which often leads to bigger problems. Therefore, through these romantic novels, instead of merely focusing on the exciting moments and sparks ignited between two characters, I find myself analyzing how they communicate with each other and navigate unexpected challenges in life.

​

This book is fictional, and the storyline may seem a bit clichéd to some readers. However, I value what I have absorbed from it more than its plot. I can relate to Kenna, even though my life is much easier than hers. Her attitude and resilience in overcoming tremendous difficulties and challenges truly inspire me. I see parallels between her struggles and my own experiences with workplace drama, mental fatigue, an uncertain career future, and feelings of emptiness. I believe that, like Kenna, I can find ways to resolve these issues.

I watched this film due to the extensive discussions on social media and the overwhelming positive feedback from netizens. It turned out to be very touching and resonant. Thailand and China share deep-rooted cultural connections and commonalities, especially since many Thai immigrants from earlier generations originally came from southern China. The grandmother portrayed in this film perfectly represents this migration generation.

​

​I am not going to recap the whole plot here. Instead, I would like to reflect on my feelings related to it. First of all, the grandmother was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, which was also the cause of my own grandmother's passing two years ago. As a result, scenes such as "the whole family was shocked by this appalling news," "the whole family repeatedly warned the youngest grandson—the leading character—not to reveal anything to grandma," "she eventually knew and accepted the chemotherapy treatment," and "he accompanied her to the hospital for every chemotherapy session, witnessing her lose all her hair and begin to waste away," to "she closed her eyes in peaceful sleep with tears in her eyes one night," resonated deeply with me. Although I did not experience the "chemo phase," all those heartbreaking moments—from the moment I learned of my grandma's diagnosis, to visiting her as much as I could in the hospital, and encouraging her with false assurances about her recovery—intensely flashed back in my mind. I found myself crying every time I thought of her or saw things that reminded me of her presence.

​

This film aims to convey the essence of the special bond between a grandmother and her grandson, highlighting the selfless love and sacrifices a mother makes for her children. It also offers a sharp satire of the authentic parent-child dynamics often found in Asian families. Some children continue to rely on their parents even after reaching adulthood, taking their support for granted, while others prioritize their own families and careers over their parents' needs. Additionally, there is often an imbalance in how sons and daughters are treated. I can't help but wonder if my own family falls into this "tragic but authentic Asian family dynamic." I must admit, it is partly true.

​

My mom has a sister, who is my aunt. She perfectly illustrates how selfless parental love and giving can be. My aunt has faced countless adversities throughout her life: unemployment, lack of education, divorce, domestic violence, estrangement from family, poverty, and depression. When my grandparents were still alive, they tried to compensate for her every poor life decision by providing her with a roof over her head, helping her care for her daughter, and paying for her entire education. They allowed her to stay at home as a dependent without the need to work or socialize. Such selfless love and indulgence eventually contributed to a tragedy: after my grandparents passed away, my aunt found herself with nobody to rely on. Having spent the past 20 years at home, she has become a completely socially disconnected and disabled person. This leads me to reflect deeply on whether the unconditional indulgence and sacrifice of Asian parents for their children should be objectively reevaluated today. 

​

Another relatable scene occurs at the end of the film when the grandson is frustrated that the grandmother he had been caring for ultimately chose to leave her property to her youngest and incompetent son. However, a call at her funeral from the bank profoundly affected him when the staff informed him that the grandmother had left him 1 million THB since he was still a child. My grandma was also a thoughtful, generous, and warm-hearted lady. She treated every grandchild equally, regardless of gender, which is quite rare for her generation in China. Since I can remember, she and my grandpa gave each grandchild pocket money for every Chinese New Year. She saved a significant amount from her monthly retirement salary, and right before she passed away, she instructed my uncle to withdraw all the money and divide it equally into six envelopes for each grandchild. I rarely use cash now, but I have kept that money in my purse without spending a penny. It did occur to me that I should save this cash in my bank account, but I chose not to because I want to preserve this money as a token of my grandma's eternal love, kindness, and protection over me.

​

Different people may have varying interpretations of this film based on their own experiences, thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Personally, I consider it my number one film of 2024, as it deeply resonates with my cherished memories of my beloved grandma, who embodies the same strength, intelligence, resilience, selflessness, and uniqueness as the grandma in the film. I believe there are countless powerful women in Asian families, each with diverse life trajectories waiting to be discovered and portrayed.

​

​

At the end of 2024, I decided to binge-watch the highly recommended films I had been too busy to watch throughout the year. As a film addict, I realized I had barely seen any films this year. After browsing several reliable film recommendation lists, I chose to embark on a "chick flick journey" first, then transition to documentaries, and perhaps end with some sci-fi films.

​​

In conclusion, both works sharply address the challenges women face today: appearance anxiety, body image issues, age-related concerns, the male gaze, imbalanced evaluations between fantasy and reality, and the misrecognition of self-worth. The leading characters in both films are remarkable and talented young actresses who authentically embody the psychological journeys of modern women.

​​

The Substance adopts a more radical, aggressive, violent, and extreme approach to showcase a middle-aged woman's explosive desire for a younger, vibrant, and curvy body. This distorted longing stems from her career in the entertainment business, where the prevailing beauty standard is dominated by youth and attractiveness. She harbors intense desires to reclaim her youth, longing for smooth skin, hair, body figure, and nails. Upon discovering a method that could reboot her body system and restore her youthful appearance, she determinedly chooses to proceed without considering the consequences.

When her body splits into another version of a beautiful and vigorous self, it becomes predictable that the two versions will compete for dominance and seek a way to cohabit within the same physical form. The film's portrayal is marked by bloody and violent imagery, with makeup effects that include realistic depictions of flesh, entrails, and distorted body parts, creating a physically and mentally repellent experience for the audience. Meanwhile, the actor employs close-up scenes and accentuated male voice effects to illustrate that "in the real world, powerful and older men can always determine which woman to hire to replace the older one."​

In the first half of the film, I found myself passively absorbing the plot through the lens of the "male gaze," a common element in classic chick flicks. However, my perspective shifted when a banner appeared on screen stating, "Wake up, girls! This is the director's improved interpretation of the film. It is no longer about the male gaze; it is about the female gaze against each other!" This comment sparked my curiosity and proved to be quite thought-provoking.

​​

The film presents two women who exist within the same physique; the only difference is that one is older and the other is younger. They harbor intense animosity toward each other's existence: the younger woman despises the older one for her wrinkled skin, sagging breasts, and grey hair, while the older woman feels threatened and traumatized by the beauty and vitality of her younger counterpart. This dynamic leads to an overwhelming sense of aversion within herself.

This stark contrast, to some extent, satirizes a current phenomenon where women experience age anxieties and appearance anxieties and impose high standards on every aspect of their bodies, including hair, makeup, skin, nails, and clothing, which has reached an alarming level.​

I couldn't help but wonder how many girls and women have fallen into this beauty trap created by the commercial economy and those capital elites. I am in no position to criticize anyone, as I also experience beauty anxieties from time to time, questioning whether "the lipstick is too red, the blush is too light, the hair is too fluffy and messy, and the skin is too saggy" before dining out with friends or going on a date. I especially can't resist comparing myself to the perfectly polished and photographed images on social media, which portray gorgeous girls with glowing skin, smooth hair, sophisticated makeup, and delicate clothing.

This vicious cycle makes me belittle myself, wondering why I cannot be as perfect as they are. Although this mentality does not significantly affect my self-worth, I know there are many girls who suffer much worse symptoms from the "commercial beauty trap," leading to fears of socializing, presenting their true selves, and developing extreme self-hatred or self-loathing, desperately seeking external validation through options like plastic surgery to transform themselves. Just as one banner states, "Girls, you are all already gorgeous enough! Please do not question your beauty and uniqueness in this world. Embrace yourself and be yourself is the most important thing."​

The other film, Anora, strikes me as somewhat sophisticated, as I struggle to grasp the core message the director aims to convey. The heroine, Anora, is an erotic dancer who makes a living by leveraging her youthful and curvaceous figure. Her life changes when she meets a wealthy Russian man who excels at creating surreal fantasies for women. They marry in Las Vegas, but their happily married life is short-lived, as the man's parents soon fly to America to intervene. He becomes cowardly, childless, irresponsible, and avoidant when confronted by his parents. It is predictable that Anora's dreams are harshly shattered by the reality of class differences. The plot is simply structured and unfolds clearly, while the hidden implications from various characters, scenes, and dialogues are thought-provoking.

​​

There is a good line in Gossip Girls: "Once men have tasted the flavor of caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish." These two chick flicks have sparked significant discussions online. On one hand, I am pleased to see that more artistic producers are willing to invest resources and thought into female issues, shedding light on key topics such as beauty anxiety, body exploitation, and the conflicts between self-worth and societal expectations. On the other hand, I wonder if these women-centered productions can truly trigger substantial awakenings regarding how the world perceives women, how women perceive themselves, and how men view women, as well as how each group takes action to address the various dilemmas that modern women face.